Do you have these crazy conversations with yourself when you are in the shower or when you are
alone or when there’s a looming deadline and you’re trying to procrastinate? Conversations about
fictional situations that might come up. Like what will I answer my manager when he asks me for
that deck that I’ve been procrastinating.
M: where is the deck?
Me: it’s almost done, just going through the facts to get it all correct so that there is no rework from
anyone
M: that’s good. But I want it in the next half an hour!
Me: yes, it’ll be definitely done. I’ll have a final look and see if all the slides are aligned, same font
and then send it across to you
M: you’re the best employee that we have. I should talk about your promotion, give you a 40% hike
and while we are at it, perhaps an office too
Me: *shyly* thank you so much. I don’t deserve so much
M: you are too humble, yet so aggressive in your work..
Back to reality… that deck needs to be done in 15 mins now!!
How you build up a huge dialogue in your head. It sounds perfectly logic, you have all the facts
ready. You sound so confident, so upright and you win. Always, you win. So this is my favourite
pastime when I’m alone. Voices in my head!!
Nowadays I’m preparing for interviews, so the frequency of these conversations have sky rocketed
and have gotten really absurd, most of the times. I have started imagining weird questions that the
interviewer might ask, and am coming up with such crazy and weird answers to them! I can’t put
them here, for the fear of judgement from you guys. But there was one question which popped up
one day – ‘what is the most adventurous thing you have done in your life?’ I frantically searched
answers for this question for 2 days. I can’t say driving on Bengaluru roads at 50kmph. Australian
people wouldn’t get that. Neither can I say …. Well, there isn’t anything else I have done daring in
my life. I’m not an adventurous type. I haven’t sky dived, I haven’t bungee jumped, I haven’t even
gone hiking. Does walking up and down MG road count?? I don’t think so.
What do I answer to this question? I contemplated on answering as, ‘I’m a very homely girl, who
likes to stay at home, hang out with my family and friends, watch movies, gossip endlessly and go
back home’. But this is a country where outdoor activities and adventurous life is given so much
importance. That’s when it hit me! I was looking at the question in one-dimension. Daring for most
of them might be all those that I pointed out before. My take on a daring life can be totally different.
That’s when I chronologically thought about my life for the past 10 years. And there ARE a few things which stood out.
In a conservative society, I had a boy friend when I was in college. That is no big deal. But I went and
told my mom about it 5 days after he had proposed to me. My dad knew 2 days after that. I had
openly spoken about it to them after a week. Well, for a 20 year old girl, that is something, right?
And, and, he is younger to me by 10 months! Beat that!
Got married at the age of 25 when I did not understand responsibilities or nuances of life. Still went
ahead and got married. 4 months into it, went for higher studies. Leaving the new home and
everything, shifted to the college hostel. Spent my honeymoon days of marriage coding away and
preparing for classes. But I’ve to say, my husband and in-laws were very supportive of it. So, it was
pretty easy for me.
After college, after working for a few years, had a baby. Natural transition. At the same time, my
husband was posted to Australia for 3 months. My baby was 7 months at that time. 3 months
became almost a year. I was a single parent at that time. I had my parents, in-laws, a nanny and my
friends around me. But the things I went through could have been shared only with him. Physically,
my support system was very strong, mentally I was lonely and it took a toll.im sure it was much more
difficult for him. He was really lonely. I still persisted and took care of my kid for that one year! This
taught me a lot. I have confidence now to bring, not one, but 2 more kids into this world and look
after them. Hopefully with my husband by my side this time! Spent one more year like an almost
single parent when my husband went for his higher studies. But by then I was totally equipped. Bring
it on!
Now, for the most daring thing I have done till now. You see, I’m in my mid thirties, had a well paying job. Quite well settled in Bengaluru with my family, parents close to my house, meeting my friends every month. I had everything I had worked for till now. Very comfortable life. Right? What does anyone do at this juncture? Plan for a few international trip, go out on weekends, basically chill! But me, nope, the adrenaline junkie in me wanted more.. I pestered my husband to apply for PR for
Australia, because I wanted more in life. Really Pratibha really?? Well yes, both of us wanted more.
So, here I am, sitting in Australia writing this story while waiting for a job to fall on my lap. It’s been a month since I came here and have been frantically searching for a job for my calibre and with the
pay that I think I should get. But it’s taking time and I’m kind of going crazy. Add to all this my
husband and kid are back at home and are waiting for me to get a job. Isn’t this absolutely crazy!! 2
weeks back, I even contemplated booking a ticket back home and just going. I’m sure if I talk to my
previous company manager, I can get my job back. Remember in my mind he had told I was the best
employee. The new person in my seat couldn’t have got that comfortable by now. Right?
It’s all scary. We have the contingency plan in place if my current situation doesn’t get better. I came
here with the worst scenario in mind. No job in 3 months, I’m going back, searching for a job in
Bengaluru and staying put for the next 10 years. I’m kinda tired of our ‘hippie’ style of living and
want a firm base under my feet. I’d consider this as a 3 month vacation, be happy with it and go
back.
But… there’s always a but. But, I don’t want to go back. I was talking to my mom today morning and
was listing to her all the good things here which we can never get back at home. Clean air, enough
water, fresh and good quality food. Enough opportunities for outdoor activities for kids, walking
space, libraries at a stone’s throw. These are important for me for a peaceful life. I want a peaceful
life, I don’t want to live in a crowded place, feeling lost and not welcome all of the rest of my life!
So, it’s just been a month here, I’m still positive that things are going to work out and that we’ll be
here for the next 6-7 years. Let’s see….
Now now I can’t answer with such a big conversation for a question – ‘what is the most adventurous
thing you have done in your life?’ but I’m glad I answered it for myself and I feel happy that I’m
adventurous, contrary to my popular belief. This should keep my positivity going for the next 2
weeks.
alone or when there’s a looming deadline and you’re trying to procrastinate? Conversations about
fictional situations that might come up. Like what will I answer my manager when he asks me for
that deck that I’ve been procrastinating.
M: where is the deck?
Me: it’s almost done, just going through the facts to get it all correct so that there is no rework from
anyone
M: that’s good. But I want it in the next half an hour!
Me: yes, it’ll be definitely done. I’ll have a final look and see if all the slides are aligned, same font
and then send it across to you
M: you’re the best employee that we have. I should talk about your promotion, give you a 40% hike
and while we are at it, perhaps an office too
Me: *shyly* thank you so much. I don’t deserve so much
M: you are too humble, yet so aggressive in your work..
Back to reality… that deck needs to be done in 15 mins now!!
How you build up a huge dialogue in your head. It sounds perfectly logic, you have all the facts
ready. You sound so confident, so upright and you win. Always, you win. So this is my favourite
pastime when I’m alone. Voices in my head!!
Nowadays I’m preparing for interviews, so the frequency of these conversations have sky rocketed
and have gotten really absurd, most of the times. I have started imagining weird questions that the
interviewer might ask, and am coming up with such crazy and weird answers to them! I can’t put
them here, for the fear of judgement from you guys. But there was one question which popped up
one day – ‘what is the most adventurous thing you have done in your life?’ I frantically searched
answers for this question for 2 days. I can’t say driving on Bengaluru roads at 50kmph. Australian
people wouldn’t get that. Neither can I say …. Well, there isn’t anything else I have done daring in
my life. I’m not an adventurous type. I haven’t sky dived, I haven’t bungee jumped, I haven’t even
gone hiking. Does walking up and down MG road count?? I don’t think so.
What do I answer to this question? I contemplated on answering as, ‘I’m a very homely girl, who
likes to stay at home, hang out with my family and friends, watch movies, gossip endlessly and go
back home’. But this is a country where outdoor activities and adventurous life is given so much
importance. That’s when it hit me! I was looking at the question in one-dimension. Daring for most
of them might be all those that I pointed out before. My take on a daring life can be totally different.
That’s when I chronologically thought about my life for the past 10 years. And there ARE a few things which stood out.
In a conservative society, I had a boy friend when I was in college. That is no big deal. But I went and
told my mom about it 5 days after he had proposed to me. My dad knew 2 days after that. I had
openly spoken about it to them after a week. Well, for a 20 year old girl, that is something, right?
And, and, he is younger to me by 10 months! Beat that!
Got married at the age of 25 when I did not understand responsibilities or nuances of life. Still went
ahead and got married. 4 months into it, went for higher studies. Leaving the new home and
everything, shifted to the college hostel. Spent my honeymoon days of marriage coding away and
preparing for classes. But I’ve to say, my husband and in-laws were very supportive of it. So, it was
pretty easy for me.
After college, after working for a few years, had a baby. Natural transition. At the same time, my
husband was posted to Australia for 3 months. My baby was 7 months at that time. 3 months
became almost a year. I was a single parent at that time. I had my parents, in-laws, a nanny and my
friends around me. But the things I went through could have been shared only with him. Physically,
my support system was very strong, mentally I was lonely and it took a toll.im sure it was much more
difficult for him. He was really lonely. I still persisted and took care of my kid for that one year! This
taught me a lot. I have confidence now to bring, not one, but 2 more kids into this world and look
after them. Hopefully with my husband by my side this time! Spent one more year like an almost
single parent when my husband went for his higher studies. But by then I was totally equipped. Bring
it on!
Now, for the most daring thing I have done till now. You see, I’m in my mid thirties, had a well paying job. Quite well settled in Bengaluru with my family, parents close to my house, meeting my friends every month. I had everything I had worked for till now. Very comfortable life. Right? What does anyone do at this juncture? Plan for a few international trip, go out on weekends, basically chill! But me, nope, the adrenaline junkie in me wanted more.. I pestered my husband to apply for PR for
Australia, because I wanted more in life. Really Pratibha really?? Well yes, both of us wanted more.
So, here I am, sitting in Australia writing this story while waiting for a job to fall on my lap. It’s been a month since I came here and have been frantically searching for a job for my calibre and with the
pay that I think I should get. But it’s taking time and I’m kind of going crazy. Add to all this my
husband and kid are back at home and are waiting for me to get a job. Isn’t this absolutely crazy!! 2
weeks back, I even contemplated booking a ticket back home and just going. I’m sure if I talk to my
previous company manager, I can get my job back. Remember in my mind he had told I was the best
employee. The new person in my seat couldn’t have got that comfortable by now. Right?
It’s all scary. We have the contingency plan in place if my current situation doesn’t get better. I came
here with the worst scenario in mind. No job in 3 months, I’m going back, searching for a job in
Bengaluru and staying put for the next 10 years. I’m kinda tired of our ‘hippie’ style of living and
want a firm base under my feet. I’d consider this as a 3 month vacation, be happy with it and go
back.
But… there’s always a but. But, I don’t want to go back. I was talking to my mom today morning and
was listing to her all the good things here which we can never get back at home. Clean air, enough
water, fresh and good quality food. Enough opportunities for outdoor activities for kids, walking
space, libraries at a stone’s throw. These are important for me for a peaceful life. I want a peaceful
life, I don’t want to live in a crowded place, feeling lost and not welcome all of the rest of my life!
So, it’s just been a month here, I’m still positive that things are going to work out and that we’ll be
here for the next 6-7 years. Let’s see….
Now now I can’t answer with such a big conversation for a question – ‘what is the most adventurous
thing you have done in your life?’ but I’m glad I answered it for myself and I feel happy that I’m
adventurous, contrary to my popular belief. This should keep my positivity going for the next 2
weeks.
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