Memories

I went into the Archie’s shop to get the most important thing that I’d need on the last day of my
school – a scrap book. Yes, a scrap book. To get all your friends to write stuff about you and about
them. Fill it up with memories about the last 10 years. I remember giving it to my crush and waiting
to read what he thought about me. When he had written ‘cute’ and ‘nerd’ in the same line, I was
confused. But then some other guy had written nice smile and other mushy things and I was
thinking, ‘what a jerk’! But how safely did I guard it from my parents. Not that they were the snoopy
kind, just that it was very important for me. Something to call mine.
Cut to 4 years later. 4 girls sitting in the last bench, passing on a notebook, writing dialogues which
should make a spicy, interesting read. All about guys. Surprise there! What we wanted to do in a
make out session. I’ll be proud to say that I was considered as ‘the guru’. LOL. We knew 10% of what
the kids actually DO nowadays of that age. None of us even had boyfriends! Innocent days! This too,
was so safely kept hidden under my bed *rolling eyes*, lest someone finds it.
Cut to 2 years after that, I had a boyfriend. Yes, me and yes, he was real! We never did anything that
I had fantasised in the ‘advanced operating systems’ class. Well, Let’s just say, I didn’t do anything. I
didn’t. Really didn’t!! Anyway, I’m digressing. He wrote the first love letter on our first Valentine’s
Day. I think he even gave a card. I guarded these too. In my dress drawer. I had graduated from
under the bed to dress drawer. Good going Prattie. I now had a diary where I’d write stuff, write
down msgs that we had exchanged. I didn’t want to lose any of those. I wanted to cherish it for the
rest of my life. I wanted to feel like a 21 year old for the rest of my life.

I had a habit of collecting odd things like recipes, lyrics of songs the songs I’d listen on loop. Like play it, rewind, write down the lyrics, listen carefully, rewind once more just to be sure. Oh yes, we had something called a cassette player. We didn’t have laptops, mobiles or lyrics were not displayed on Amazon music as the song played. But I used to spend hours curating these diaries, books and saving them so carefully. I’d wrap them, label them and pack them myself whenever we moved houses.

These pursuits took up so much time, so much efforts and had to guard all the artefacts from other
people. Now, I don’t even know where the scrap book is, tore up all the chats with from the
classroom. Our love letters are there, somewhere. Yes, they are there! Time taken – hours and
hours. Outcome – nothing concrete. Childish!!

Years passed, I completed my masters, did not have a scrap book on the last day. Instead added my
friends on LinkedIn. I’m married to my boyfriend. We are very happy. We have a son. We don’t write
letters to each other anymore. Our msgs go something like, ‘Attu pooped, finally. It’s normal’. Or
‘what time are you coming home ?’ I still listen to music, when I’m travelling, but not really listening
to the lyrics. Just using music to concentrate on the road, to get the work done or get this story
going. I use music to concentrate. I digress again. So, what do I do through out the day? I’m on my
mobile. Browsing Instagram, FB, play two dots, mainly. Now, LinkedIn has taken precedence,
because, job hunting. Today I was seeing a random teenager’s morning routine and saw she writes a
diary and thought, on what all do these people spend time. Can they not spend it on something
more important. Ugh. I lock my screen. After 5 minutes I get a notification- ‘your screen time has
increased by 13% from last week at 4.5 hours average per day’…..

Adventures in my life!

Do you have these crazy conversations with yourself when you are in the shower or when you are
alone or when there’s a looming deadline and you’re trying to procrastinate? Conversations about
fictional situations that might come up. Like what will I answer my manager when he asks me for
that deck that I’ve been procrastinating.
M: where is the deck?
Me: it’s almost done, just going through the facts to get it all correct so that there is no rework from
anyone
M: that’s good. But I want it in the next half an hour!
Me: yes, it’ll be definitely done. I’ll have a final look and see if all the slides are aligned, same font
and then send it across to you
M: you’re the best employee that we have. I should talk about your promotion, give you a 40% hike
and while we are at it, perhaps an office too
Me: *shyly* thank you so much. I don’t deserve so much
M: you are too humble, yet so aggressive in your work..
Back to reality… that deck needs to be done in 15 mins now!!

How you build up a huge dialogue in your head. It sounds perfectly logic, you have all the facts
ready. You sound so confident, so upright and you win. Always, you win. So this is my favourite
pastime when I’m alone. Voices in my head!!

Nowadays I’m preparing for interviews, so the frequency of these conversations have sky rocketed
and have gotten really absurd, most of the times. I have started imagining weird questions that the
interviewer might ask, and am coming up with such crazy and weird answers to them! I can’t put
them here, for the fear of judgement from you guys. But there was one question which popped up
one day – ‘what is the most adventurous thing you have done in your life?’ I frantically searched
answers for this question for 2 days. I can’t say driving on Bengaluru roads at 50kmph. Australian
people wouldn’t get that. Neither can I say …. Well, there isn’t anything else I have done daring in
my life. I’m not an adventurous type. I haven’t sky dived, I haven’t bungee jumped, I haven’t even
gone hiking. Does walking up and down MG road count?? I don’t think so.

What do I answer to this question? I contemplated on answering as, ‘I’m a very homely girl, who
likes to stay at home, hang out with my family and friends, watch movies, gossip endlessly and go
back home’. But this is a country where outdoor activities and adventurous life is given so much
importance. That’s when it hit me! I was looking at the question in one-dimension. Daring for most
of them might be all those that I pointed out before. My take on a daring life can be totally different.
That’s when I chronologically thought about my life for the past 10 years. And there ARE a few things which stood out.

In a conservative society, I had a boy friend when I was in college. That is no big deal. But I went and
told my mom about it 5 days after he had proposed to me. My dad knew 2 days after that. I had
openly spoken about it to them after a week. Well, for a 20 year old girl, that is something, right?
And, and, he is younger to me by 10 months! Beat that!

Got married at the age of 25 when I did not understand responsibilities or nuances of life. Still went
ahead and got married. 4 months into it, went for higher studies. Leaving the new home and
everything, shifted to the college hostel. Spent my honeymoon days of marriage coding away and
preparing for classes. But I’ve to say, my husband and in-laws were very supportive of it. So, it was
pretty easy for me.

After college, after working for a few years, had a baby. Natural transition. At the same time, my
husband was posted to Australia for 3 months. My baby was 7 months at that time. 3 months
became almost a year. I was a single parent at that time. I had my parents, in-laws, a nanny and my
friends around me. But the things I went through could have been shared only with him. Physically,
my support system was very strong, mentally I was lonely and it took a toll.im sure it was much more
difficult for him. He was really lonely. I still persisted and took care of my kid for that one year! This
taught me a lot. I have confidence now to bring, not one, but 2 more kids into this world and look
after them. Hopefully with my husband by my side this time! Spent one more year like an almost
single parent when my husband went for his higher studies. But by then I was totally equipped. Bring
it on!

Now, for the most daring thing I have done till now. You see, I’m in my mid thirties, had a well paying job. Quite well settled in Bengaluru with my family, parents close to my house, meeting my friends every month. I had everything I had worked for till now. Very comfortable life. Right? What does anyone do at this juncture? Plan for a few international trip, go out on weekends, basically chill! But me, nope, the adrenaline junkie in me wanted more.. I pestered my husband to apply for PR for
Australia, because I wanted more in life. Really Pratibha really?? Well yes, both of us wanted more.
So, here I am, sitting in Australia writing this story while waiting for a job to fall on my lap. It’s been a month since I came here and have been frantically searching for a job for my calibre and with the
pay that I think I should get. But it’s taking time and I’m kind of going crazy. Add to all this my
husband and kid are back at home and are waiting for me to get a job. Isn’t this absolutely crazy!! 2
weeks back, I even contemplated booking a ticket back home and just going. I’m sure if I talk to my
previous company manager, I can get my job back. Remember in my mind he had told I was the best
employee. The new person in my seat couldn’t have got that comfortable by now. Right?
It’s all scary. We have the contingency plan in place if my current situation doesn’t get better. I came
here with the worst scenario in mind. No job in 3 months, I’m going back, searching for a job in
Bengaluru and staying put for the next 10 years. I’m kinda tired of our ‘hippie’ style of living and
want a firm base under my feet. I’d consider this as a 3 month vacation, be happy with it and go
back.

But… there’s always a but. But, I don’t want to go back. I was talking to my mom today morning and
was listing to her all the good things here which we can never get back at home. Clean air, enough
water, fresh and good quality food. Enough opportunities for outdoor activities for kids, walking
space, libraries at a stone’s throw. These are important for me for a peaceful life. I want a peaceful
life, I don’t want to live in a crowded place, feeling lost and not welcome all of the rest of my life!
So, it’s just been a month here, I’m still positive that things are going to work out and that we’ll be
here for the next 6-7 years. Let’s see….

Now now I can’t answer with such a big conversation for a question – ‘what is the most adventurous
thing you have done in your life?’ but I’m glad I answered it for myself and I feel happy that I’m
adventurous, contrary to my popular belief. This should keep my positivity going for the next 2
weeks.

Why I like my house clean

Today, my husband posted an article on my wall, which essentially said why waste time cleaning our homes when we could be doing so many other things. Like painting, baking, drinking wine, reading a book, going outdoors etc etc. I'd love to do all those things. In a clean house 😜

Here's why I think u def should've a clean home:

1. It looks/is clean !

2. It looks beautiful. It's a pretty sight. U would want to be there. Who's going outdoors everyday. When u come home from office, imagine stepping on a dusty floor, dusting the sofa so u have a decent spot to sit. 

3. It's good for ur health. If at all u r living in dust, why bother having a house. Might as well stay on the road. 

4. Easier to find things when required. I hate it when I enter a kitchen to get myself a cup of coffee n have to search for 10 mins for a clean cup, lighter to switch on the stove. I like things to be organised, to be in the same place I left it before. If someone messes up with my stuff, better be prepared to face my wrath. 

5. Clear mind. Argue what u may, I think clearly in a clean, open n fresh environment. It's just the way I'm wired. A cluttered room isn't going to get any work done by me. 

6. Great way to relax. Dusting, folding clothes, organising kitchen etc relaxes me. It's my meditation. 

7.Great way to get some exercise. Just sweep n swab the whole house n see how much u r sweating by the end of it. It's better than a medium impact cardio session. 

8. Great way to bond with family. And also to make kids disciplined. 

9.  When u have a clean house, u wouldn't feel like going outdoors unnecessarily. Don't get me wrong, I love going outside. But it's not to escape a dirty house or to excuse myself of the duty of cleaning my house. 

10. Bahiranga shuddi-> antaranga shuddi 😊 

Anyone agrees? Disagrees? Would love to hear ur thoughts. 

Petu, u r not getting away from ur chores with a romanticised article about writing 'I love u' in the dust. I'd love to see that on a clean floor with rose petals ☺️

Yet another 'My Choice' post

To be happy should be my choice. To complete my education should be my choice. To work in the field I'm passionate about should be my choice. To love my family n friends should be my choice. 

I would like to teach such 'my choices ' to my kid. Not the choices a well dressed actress blurts out in a video. Such choices r choices for the heck of it. 

The video questions the foundation of societal norms. It questions the very basis of freedom. Why r societal norms present? Not all r relevant or correct, I agree. But some of them do make sense even now. When U think of a teenager on the throes of deciding whether to sleep with someone or to go pubbing all night long or to do drugs. This video gently pushes them to the other side. It justifies their decisions. The result, I ll leave it to ur imaginations. Now, imagine a society of such people. Not a pretty sight. 

Have ur say, have ur choice, do right by it. Not for the heck of it. 

Connect the dots and plunnge ....

Recent trends show a rise in books where normal people choose to do out of normal things and are praised for their efforts. Books like 'Connect the dots' and 'The Plunnge' have thronged the markets and are quite popular. I have read the first book and did not particularly feel like picking up the second. Perhaps due to personal prejudices. Anyway, both the books follow the same patterns.

After reading the first book, it got me thinking. I too am not in an over interesting field. I would have loved to do something different. But should I? Could I? I guess not. Dont judge me yet. I have x lakhs of education loan. Can I take up photography as my career now? Who will sponsor expensive lens? Who will take care of my extensive traveling? Or say, I want to become a singer now. Should I spend my time and energy and money on classes and trainings now? I cannot fathom to find answers to these.

These people who quit their mundane work to pursue 'interesting' careers should have had some support. Either a rich inheritance. Or a huge bank savings in their names or a working partner who can take care of a few missing months of 'salary'. Or they would have struggled for years to get where they are now. I salute to that effort. Also, try to imagine if our parents had 'taken the plunge'? Where would we be? After their college, if they had chose to pursue, say journalism. Would we be how we are? These are some of the questions that I cannot find answers to.

I appreciate the authors' efforts to bring out the out-of-ordinary human beings and their brave outlook towards life. But I hope they also try to write about people who stuck to their mundane jobs and made others lives better. I would love to read about such selfless people. 

PS: No offense to any of the authors or to those who chose to change their careers. This is just my view point.

Dont shout back at me pls!! :P

There were a few articles on the net floating around some days back. Single girl/guy lamenting about her/his parents' infuriating attempts to marry them off. That is arranged marriage. Why does this term sends shivers down the spine. There were sayings like 'all through my life, my parents ask me not to talk to a stranger but now they are asking me to marry one', 'why should I dress up like a model and pose for another family?' etc..

Well, the way I see it is this. First off all, the people who forwarded these articles/blogs were either single guys and girls or people who have boy friends and girl friends but their parents haven't approved of them or those who have burnt their fingers in bad relationships. Now that all of them are past their mid-twenties, their parents are quite keen to see their children 'settled'. There might be different meanings to this word. I am not going to argue about it. But from the parents point of view, marriage is an important step and has to be done at an appropriate age.

Nowadays, most of the parents aren't that strict about this issue. They are quite okay if you bring home a guy or a girl who is decent enough and has good manners and behavior. But if you show them someone who looks like a Metallica-wannabe, obviously they get scared. And thats when all the drama about arranged marriage starts. Or the case might be that you, in your younger days would have done something which makes your parents not trust you. Is that their fault? Or, the third reason can be that the parents are inherently against love marriages, in which case, nothing can be done. Tough luck.

By telling this, I have nothing against (or for) any type of marriage. Its just that, try to find a way to keep you and everyone around you happy. Its not too difficult.

Festival time and Gandhi Bazaar :)

I just love the atmosphere of Gandhi Bazaar during festivals. Everyone is busy shopping. Kids gaping at everyone. It is an awesome place to visit just before a festival. I went and bought bangles and got mehendi. Also enjoyed hot hot capsicum bonda. Sad that I dint have time to roam around longer.